My Addiction: Second Chances Series Read online

  Despite the move, he and I remained the best of friends, but way deep down, in the pits of my soul, I was in love with Braddock Mills.

  Let me clarify here… Back then I was so head over heels in love with him that it was sickening. I would sometimes think about how it would feel to have his arm around me lovingly and not just as a friend. I wanted him to look at me the way he looked at his girlfriends. I wanted him to want me, but he never did. I think he only thought of me as just a home girl, that buddy that you could play basketball with, talk sports with and drink beer with.

  I thought at one time if he saw there was more to me than that, maybe he would think of me differently. On my prom night, Brad said he wanted to see me before I left the house. I thought, finally, here was my chance to get him to see me as more than a gal pal. But when he laid his eyes on me, there was nothing in them. He took pictures with me for my mom, and when my date, my boyfriend, Donnell, came to the house, Bradley and Terrence became my big brothers. They threatened Donnell before we left, telling him to treat me with respect or they would “ice” him.

  Donnell, to his credit, kept a straight face. Donnell was probably packing heat right then and there, but he never showed it. He just told them and my mom not to worry and that he would take good care of me. As we drove away, I looked back and saw Bradley just standing there watching the limo drive away with a look on his face I couldn’t quite read. The look saw on his face didn’t say “Stay with me, Ana,” so I guess it didn’t matter.

  Through high school, I just admired him from afar. When he went off to UCLA, I was heartbroken. We wrote as much as we could while he was away. He barely came home, and when he did, for some reason, we would miss each other, so I lost all hope that anything would happen between us. So, I just became the best “friend” he could ever have. Whenever he was stressed or had a huge test, he would call me saying he just needed to hear my voice. We would talk for hours about nothing really, but it seemed to relax him, so I just went with it. I wanted to be there for him in any way that I could, so I took advantage of opportunities when I could. I didn’t think it would be this way for long. He was hot, and I was sure he had grown out of his awkwardness, so I knew it was a matter of time before he met someone and fell in love.

  Medical school came around, and he decided to stay at UCLA for their medical school program. I just knew he had fallen for someone named Muffy and they already had a little dog named Princess. Therefore, I never asked him if he was seeing anyone for fear it would destroy me. Come to think of it, he never asked me either.

  We remained friends though. No matter what was going on in our lives, we stayed connected with each other through emails and phone calls. Things changed for us during the summer after his second year of medical school. He and his friends were heading to Miami for a week in May, and he wanted me to come. I, of course, said no. I was working two jobs at the time, trying to get myself into college. I couldn’t afford to make the trip, but my Bradley decided he’d buy the tickets anyway so I could come. Things actually worked out, and I managed to take the days off and still keep my job.

  I used what little money I had to buy some things to wear, namely a bathing suit. Since the last time he saw me, I finally learned what to do with my curves. I was still thick in some places, but they were in the right places. I was a good-looking woman and wanted to make sure Braddock Mills knew I was as well.

  What I wasn’t expecting was how well he grew into his body. When I got off the plane and moved to baggage claim, I looked around for Brad. My brain searched for a tall guy with braces and glasses, but I didn’t see him. I went to pull out my phone to call him, but it turned out he was calling me.

  “Hey, Ana, where are you? I’m waiting in baggage claim.” His voice boomed on the other end of my cell.

  I looked around and found a few white guys talking on the phone. I said, “I’m here, Bradley. I’m looking for…” My sentence died when my eyes fell on a guy that instantly astounded me. He was tall, but, God, he had muscles that were etched in his shirt or maybe his shirt was just window dressing for his unbelievable body.

  Holy shit…

  My eyes went to his dark brown wavy hair that fell slightly over one of his eyes. He was clean-shaven with a short sleeve shirt that again looked painted on a perfectly carved chest, abs and arms. His legs through his shorts shown powerful thighs, but his calves looked toned and formed.

  Oh my goodness, Braddock Mills had definitely grown into a specimen of the utmost perfection.

  I wiped my bottom lip, as I definitely felt a bit of drool drop from them, unable to move from my spot. When his eyes found me, he froze too and just stared at me so hard I thought I looked a hot mess and started looking down at myself. I wore a simple t-shirt that contoured my chest and stomach and shorts that showed off my legs, so I thought I looked good considering the two-hour flight. But as soon as he smiled at me, my worry subsided, and I instantly smiled back. I moved full speed and jumped into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck.

  I would be embarrassed later if this wasn’t Brad, but when he squeezed me to him, I knew I had the right guy.

  When I finally let go and got down, I smiled up at him. “Holy shit, did you eat a lot of spinach, Bradley Mills?”

  He laughed and shook his head. “Uh no, can’t say that I have. What about you? Damn, Ayana, you look amazing. Definitely not the girl next door, I tell you that much. I bet you’re beating them away with a stick.”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “You know how it is, I’m sure. I bet you a million dollars that those college girls are losing their minds over you.”

  He shrugged his shoulders, same as me, and just reached for my hand. “Let’s get you to the hotel so you can change, and we can make everyone here eat their hearts out beach side.”

  I took another long swig of my wine and added more hot water into my bath.

  Brad and I had a ball in Miami. I can’t begin to remember what his friend’s names were right now, but his friends were attractive in their own right. He had three people with him, two women and a guy, and we shared a huge suite with three bedrooms in it and two fold out couches. The women took the bedrooms while the guys slept on the couches. Everyone seemed cool. The guy with Brad was slightly shorter than he was, but was a very nice looking guy. He had short blonde hair and brown eyes. One of the girls with them was blonde, as well thin with large boobs, and, I swear, a butt that had to be surgically implanted. It looked so fake.

  Now, the other girl, who I swear had a thing for Brad, had chestnut brown hair that reached the middle of her back. She had some curves to her with great complexion and an even better rack. They were fake too, I knew, but they were still spectacular.

  The day before I left for Miami and returned to my reality, we decided to party hard. We ended up in a VIP section of one of the hottest clubs in Miami. I had borrowed my friend’s red dress that she coined her “come fuck me dress” with the idea of seduction, of course. It was tight everywhere, leaving nothing to the imagination. You couldn’t wear a bra or panties, so I was butt ass naked underneath.

  Unfortunately, I wasn’t the only one with the idea of seduction. Both females that came with Brad had the same tight dress idea in mind. And as we walked South Beach, it seemed to be a “tight dress convention.” I didn’t stand out at all, not to the men out there and especially not to Brad, who by the way just said to me, “Nice dress.”

  I drank as much as I could and danced with anyone who asked me. What I couldn’t stand was seeing fake boob girls dancing all over Bradley. I was hoping that whole week that I would get the chance to tell him how I really felt about him. I didn’t want to be his friend anymore. I wanted to know, so badly, how he felt about me, if he could see himself with me. I was prepared to let him go as a friend. I couldn’t stand it any longer. I was lonely at home; trying to hold out for a man who I hoped wanted me. That was getting so old. As I watched him surrounded by all these women, I felt like I did
n’t have a chance in hell. I was done. I was tired and drunk, and I wanted to go back to the hotel suite and privately fawn after him for the last time before I moved on. I told his friend I was leaving because Brad seemed otherwise too occupied with another fake tits girl at the club to notice, and I didn’t feel like going over there to break up the two.

  When I made it back to the hotel, my cell went off. Bradley had texted me, “Hey, where did you go?”

  I text back saying simply, “Hotel.”

  I went in search of something to drown my sorrows in on the suite’s bar and made me another drink. My cell went off, and I saw he replied, “Why?”

  That for some reason made me angry. I texted back, “What difference does it make? Clearly you’re occupied with all the fake tits you could ever want to even notice, so it doesn’t matter why I left.”

  It was hell abbreviating that, so I wasn’t sure if he understood everything or not. When my phone went off, and I looked at it, my frown deepened, and I wanted to throw my phone in the Atlantic. There was only one word on the screen, “Jealous.”

  Fired up, I texted back, “Fuck no… I hope your dick falls off.”

  I put my phone down next to me and made myself another drink. It went off again, but I didn’t bother looking at it. Twenty minutes later, after my third drink, Bradley and all his glory walked into the suite. I watched him in his tan slacks and white linen shirt that seemed to have been unbuttoned more than what it was the last time I saw him.

  I kept my eyes on him as he removed his shirt, leaving only his tank style t-shirt. He walked up next to me and made himself a drink. I refused to look at him. I just sat down on the stool and kept my eyes forward. I refused to allow his presence, his closeness to affect me.

  I felt his eyes on me though, and it was so unnerving.

  “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” I heard him ask.

  “Nothing to tell,” I replied keeping my eyes straight ahead.

  “You know you have nothing to worry about right?”

  I shot him a look of annoyance and rolled my eyes. “You’re right, Bradley, I don’t. I really don’t care what you do. I’ve told you this already.”

  “Yes, you did.”

  “Yeah, so you’re right; there’s nothing to worry about, and there’s nothing to tell,” I added.

  “So why are you giving me the cold shoulder? I mean, if there’s nothing to tell and there’s no way your jealous...”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “Fuck you! I’m not jealous of anyone!”

  He smirked at me.

  “Right. You’ve said that too.”

  I got up off the stool, pissed off all over again.

  “Yes, that’s right. None of those fake ass skanks had anything over me. My tits are real and so is my ass.” I grabbed each to bring home the point. “And if you can’t tell that or see me, than that’s your damn problem, not mine. I’m going to bed.”

  I walked toward my bedroom hoping I wouldn’t stumble, however, I didn’t get far. Brad grabbed me and hoisted me up over his shoulders.

  “What the hell are you doing?! Put me down!” I snapped.

  I struggled in his arms, feeling humiliated, but the moment I felt his hand on my ass and the subsequent smack that followed, I had stopped moving and actually creamed between my legs at the same time.

  What?

  He dropped me on the stool, moved my legs apart, and positioned himself between them. He leaned into me, brought his hand up into my hair and gripped me tight. My lips parted slightly, as he leaned my head back to force my eyes to his, pinning my body against his. At first, I was put off with his brusque way of handling me, but the moment I saw a look in his eyes come over him, I no longer cared.

  He moved even closer, bringing our lips inches from each other.

  “You don’t think I see you?”

  I didn’t reply…

  He moved his head down and lightly touched his lips to my neck, moving my head so he could have better access to me. I closed my eyes as a feeling of warmth flooded my body. The touch from his lips made every nerve ending in my body come alive in the most erotic way I had ever felt. I was wet from him simply kissing and sucking my neck… holy shit! I gripped the legs of the stool, trying to ease some of the throbbing between my own legs. I was desperately trying not to touch him. I couldn’t touch him; afraid I would wake up or lose the feeling that had now reached between my legs as he continued his featherlike touches to my neck.

  He met my eyes again. “Ayana, ever since I was thirteen all I’ve ever seen was you.” His eyes fell to my lips, and he slowly moved toward them.

  When his lips finally touched mine, I finally exhaled from a lifetime of never breathing around him. As he kissed me, I felt his hand release my hair and travel down my arms. He reached for my hands that were gripped tightly around the stool. He then moved my arms up and around his neck, and I lost all control as he deepened our kiss… or, hell, maybe it was me who had deepened our kiss. I couldn’t tell you. All I know is, God, he felt so good. My hands fisted in his hair as our tongues tasted each other for the first time.

  He moved his hands along my thighs, and, as they came around to my ass, he broke our kiss. “Put your legs around me, Ana.”

  I obeyed, and he lifted me and carried me into my bedroom. His hands caressed my back slowly, and I couldn’t wait to feel his hands all over me. Then suddenly I felt him grip my dress and yank hard.

  I stopped kissing him and looked in his burning blue-grey eyes. “I didn’t feel a zipper,” he exclaimed.

  I smiled and shook my head, feeling air against my now bare back. “You know this was my friends dress.”

  “I’ll buy her another one,” he replied before his lips found mine again.

  I watched mesmerized as the man of my dreams laid me down on the bed. I watched the change in his eyes take over as he slowly removed the torn dress from my body. I couldn’t tell you what type of thoughts crossed his mind. When his eyes raked over my body, they grew a bit wide, and his hands instantly went to my chest. He slowly caressed me, dragging his hand down the center of my breastbone to under each breast. It was as if he was mesmerized at how I felt underneath his heated touch. My body flooded with goosebumps even though I was on fire. No matter what he used to touch me- his lips, his tongue, his hands- my body exploded with pleasures never imagined. He commanded me that night. He controlled me and destroyed me in ways he couldn’t possibly understand.

  In my dreams, I wished for this moment. I wanted it more than I wanted to breathe. I wanted him to want me, and here I was watching him remove his t-shirt and pants. I watched him bend over slowly and kiss my thighs as he moved up to my center. I watched fascinated as he took over my body and gave me something that my dreams never prepared me for.

  I wasn’t ready to be fucked so thoroughly with his tongue. I wasn’t ready to then be kissed with so much desire and passion that I was going out of my mind. And I wasn’t ready for the sudden softness and gentleness that overcame him the moment he entered me.

  I instantly closed my eyes and breathed as he invaded my body filling me with such a glorious finality. I opened my eyes just as I knew he felt the resistance my body gave him.

  He stopped moving and looked down at me. “Ana,” he said softly.

  I tried to close my eyes tighter, fighting back the tears that I knew were forming. I shook my head and said, albeit softly, “Please don’t stop, Bradley… Please…”

  He caressed my face and kissed me. This kiss was soft, sensual and amazing. He pledged to me, just inches above my lips, “I’ll be gentle, Ana… I’ll be gentle.”

  The moment I felt him breakthrough, I cried out and sat up…

  And suddenly I was back in my bathtub, water cold with my hand in between my legs. My breathing was erratic, to say the least, and shit if the throbbing between my legs didn’t intensify. I closed my eyes used one hand to pinch my nipple and the other to bring me to a pleasure that couldn’t compare to what he
used to do to me.

  I came hard and fast, and despite the water I was in, I was soaked from the inside, burning with the desire to get lost in Braddock Mills.

  I took my wine bottle to the head again.

  Yes, this shit fucking sucks.

  I washed, got out of the tub, got dressed and went out hoping I could get my life back sooner rather than later. I needed to get laid and I needed one person to bring me to the brink of torture like only he could.

  Chapter 3 – Bradley

  She was avoiding me. I felt it. Something told me I needed to take this as a sign and leave her be, but despite my education, it seemed I was not too bright in the common sense department. I guess that half of my brain wasn’t functioning properly. Actually, it never does when it comes to her.

  Three days had passed, and I hadn’t been able to take my mind off her. It’s crazy, but all I’ve thought about was her smile, the way she’d laugh. I’ve wondered if she still felt and tasted as good as I remembered.

  I knew this wasn’t right. But, shit, I hadn’t felt a woman under me in a long time. I work crazy hours and when I get home all I do is crash. However, before I do that, I want to soak myself in my woman’s heat and get lost for just a moment.

  On the rare chance Nora was around when I got home, it seemed she wanted to fill our time with wedding shit. Sometimes, all I wanted to do was screw her senseless. I don’t want you to think that I’m a heartless SOB, but sometimes screwing her senseless was higher on the agenda than the damn wedding. Please don’t think, however, that I didn’t communicate this to her; she just didn’t see things my way. There was one night in particular that I remember. I had lost two patients on the same shift. They were very sick, and their chances of surviving surgery were slim, but the families wanted to try, so we did. It’s messed up when we lose, and I just wanted to come home to her. She didn’t get it though, and, to be truly honest with myself, she was never truly did. I mean, she motivated me through my residency to never give up, I have no problem admitting that. She made sure I was left alone when I needed to study or sleep, but if I really just needed her, she couldn’t give me what I needed.