My Addiction: Second Chances Series Read online

  “Don’t worry I’ll protect you.” He smiled at me all sleepy looking and sexy.

  I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of.” I moved close to him and kissed his cheek. “Go back to sleep. I’ll find my own way to the door.”

  “No, let me walk you.”

  I pushed him back down. “I’m cool. It’s not like Lock lives in the rough streets of West Plano. He’s in Frisco now.”

  I felt him chuckle. “Call me and let me know you made it home safely.”

  “I will.”

  I kissed him again, got dressed as quickly as I could, grabbing a t-shirt of his since he ripped mine, and left. I decided to leave out the back just so I didn’t have to run into Lock.

  I reached for my phone in my pocket and looked at the screen. Yup, it was Ramone Allen. I called him back and just as his gruff voice came over the line, I gagged, literally. I’m sorry, but just the thought of him makes me sick.

  “Where the fuck are you?”

  “Does it matter? What do you want?” I retorted.

  He paused a beat, and I stood on the side of Lock’s house waiting. Finally, he said, “I need you tonight. Can you be at the spot in thirty?”

  I groaned. “Are you serious? I thought this was my day off.”

  “Day off? What do you think this is? You think you work on Wall Street or something? Get you sweet ass down here or consider the deal off,” he barked, then hung up.

  Shit.

  I hustled around the side of the house and just about made it to my car when I heard a nasty voice behind me say. “Is that how you treat my brother? Fuck him, then leave in the middle of the night? You couldn’t at least stay until morning? You haven’t changed at all.”

  I turned to find Lock sitting on his porch. His eyes filled with judgment and anger. He stood and started for me, but I turned and headed for my car. I said over my shoulder, “I don’t have time for you. I need to be somewhere.”

  “Oh yeah? Where? To go get high?” he laughed. “Popped any pills lately?”

  “You’re an asshole, do you know that?” I turned and was about to go hard when I saw just a shell of a man standing in front of me. I was completely stunned. I mean Brad said Lock had taken MJ’s death hard, but I didn’t think it was that bad. He didn’t look this bad a week and a half ago, did he?

  “Don’t get mad at me because you’re a junkie,” he said to me with venom etched in his voice.

  I shook my head. “You know what? Fine. You want to do this now – let’s do it. Yes, I used prescription pills to numb the pain I had when my mom passed away; sue me. I made the wrong choice, but shit, I’m human and everyone makes mistakes. And, believe me, I’ve paid for them.”

  “Is that your excuse? You chose to take drugs to numb the pain? You hurt the people that cared about you the most because you wanted to numb the pain? How selfish are you? Did you even think about how you affected anyone else?”

  I moved closer to him. “Seriously? You’re standing in front of me preaching this sanctimonious bullshit to me about how selfish I am? How I didn’t care about hurting the people close to me? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? So, yes, I didn’t think too highly of myself when I decided to self-medicate my pain. I messed up thinking I would only be causing myself pain instead of others, but shit… you are doing the exact same thing.”

  He pointed down in my face. “Oh no. I’m not like you. I will not destroy myself, my life that way.”

  I shook my head and pointed back at him. “What the hell do you think you’re doing now? You have become the biggest asshole known to man. You walk around here mad at the world, taking your misery and loneliness out on everyone around you. Did you think about Brad when you decided to become this shell of a man? Do you think about how he feels watching his older brother self-destruct from the inside out? You smell like shit, you look like you have skid marks in your damn tightie whities, your clothes and face look as if they haven’t seen soap and water in decades. So, yeah, I may have gone the wrong way with drugs, but you are right behind me, and you are so far in denial it’s sad. Why don’t you throw away the vodka you keep under your pillow that you drink every night, and take a fucking shower, or maybe two? Shave that nasty beard you have and join life.”

  He turned beet red, and I knew he was about to explode from embarrassment, shock and fear. So I said quickly, “You think I don’t see the signs? You may not go to work drunk, but you come home and get drunk. I know what that’s like. Remember, I’m the junkie.” I pointed to myself, rolled my eyes and turned to walk away when he gripped my arm. He spun me and walked closer to me.

  I looked up in his eyes and it broke my heart to see all the pain etched in them. He took a deep breath and said, “If you break him, it’s going to be you and me.”

  I nodded and answered softly, “I know,” then walked away. I had less than fifteen minutes to get to where I needed to be.

  Shit, I’m gonna be late.

  *****

  I arrived at the spot about ten minutes late. Oh well. I broke every law imaginable to get there, so if that’s not appreciated then too bad.

  I grabbed my bag out of the trunk and headed for the entrance. As I got closer, the smell of urine, sweat and something very unpleasant attacked my senses. I hate this place.

  I walked up to the back door and knocked. A very large, very black man opened it and looked me up and down. The look on his face always managed to scare the shit out of me. He would study me as if it was the first we’ve met, and we both knew damn well it wasn’t. This song and dance happened every time I came here before he would move to let me pass.

  I walked through a dark and damp hallway in the back of the building with my hands deep in my pants pockets. The hallway of the building always seemed moist to me and that didn’t seem right. The walls of a building shouldn’t bleed or be moist all the time. It didn’t matter the time of the day, I learned; it was always like that. This place was nasty. To give you an idea of the nasty stuff that happens along the walls here, I just passed a girl pinned up against the wall, boobs out and bouncing as some gent that was screwing her. The look of boredom on her face was almost comical, sad but comical, especially when you see how hard this guy was working.

  That wasn’t the first time I’d seen something like that happen here and it wouldn’t be the last. At any point of the day, you could see someone being screwed in the hallway or in either the men or women’s bathroom. Since this girl was out here, I only assume all the bathroom stalls were taken.

  See what I mean?

  I keep my hands to myself. There’s no telling what you could catch if you touched or leaned up against the walls here.

  I found the steps I needed and descended to the basement where Mr. Allen met me. He paced impatiently, looking at his phone.

  When he saw me coming toward him, he shook his head. “What the hell took you so long?”

  “I’m sorry, okay? I got here as fast as I could,” I told him, and moved quickly past him to the changing rooms.

  Just before I closed the door to get ready, he said, “You don’t have a lot of time in there, so hurry up.”

  I just nodded my head, closed, and locked the door. I knew the door probably didn’t lock, and I bet you my life they had cameras in there. Therefore, I didn’t give them any type of show. I’ve mastered the art of getting undressed without showing a thing.

  I grabbed my pair of gold booty cutting shorts and a long skirt. I put the skirt on over my shorts, removed them and my panties, then put my shorts on, thankful for the shower Brad and I took before we fell asleep. Brad’s t-shirt was huge on me so I was able to take off my bra and put on my gold sports bra looking thing that barely covered my boobs. I kept the shirt on though.

  Maybe it was for luck. I’m not sure. I couldn’t tell you.

  When I first came here, I was scared shitless. After a few times of doing it, I didn’t think about it much. I left who I was at the back door and collected her when
I left this place, if I left this place. So far, I’d been lucky but as always, luck runs out.

  I applied some heavy makeup to my face and my eyes. It’s a requirement that we looked good doing what we do. Our goal is to make the patrons happy. The happier they are, the more money they spend.

  Ramone banged on the door, and I rolled my eyes. I grabbed my bag, took off Brad’s t-shirt and walked out. The look on Ramone’s face repulsed me, but, as I said, I wasn’t Ayana anymore. I was someone else.

  I gave him the finger.

  “Anytime, Baby Doll. Just say the word.”

  Yup, that’s what they called me, “Baby Doll.” I guess I looked fragile and wholesome compared to some of the girls. Man, when I said these girls looked rough, I wasn’t exaggerating. They seemed to have lived very hard and very tough lives. This was how they survived, but I didn’t knock their hustle.

  Ramone walked ahead of me and spoke to one of the punks that ran shit down here while I looked around. Damn, this place was packed. Men and some half-dressed woman milled around the area and watched a “show,” as they called it, which was already in progress.

  I turned to see Ramone standing in front of me, all serious and business like.

  I guess it’s show time.

  “You ready?”

  I nodded and followed him to my spot and we went through the motions of getting ready.

  I moved to the floor and stood there while my opponent made her way to the floor. She was huge. I looked back at Ramone to see a huge toothy grin and I shook my head.

  I truly hate that son of a bitch.

  I put my mouthpiece in, banged my gloved fists in my hands and watched this girl as she approached me. I told you she was bigger than I was, about 5’11,” solid mean-looking white girl that any other day I would be running the other way from. Today, unfortunately, was not the day. I took a deep breath and thought about Noelle. I needed to do this for her.

  Someone rang a bell and the yelling started. I heard my name called and I heard hers… Bruiser.

  Yeah, it figures.

  I moved my head side to side, cracking my neck as I sized up my opponent. There’s always a weakness visible in almost anyone you fight. The problem was they could probably find yours too. So the object is to figure out theirs first and as I found hers.

  I smiled.

  *******

  “You were a little slow with that one,” Ramone said in my ear.

  I couldn’t respond… my chest was on fire. That amazon hit like a freaking ten-foot man. Not that I knew what that felt like, but I think I did now.

  Damn!

  He wasn’t wrong. It took everything in me to bring this girl down. I ended up doing a move that brought me on her shoulders with her head between my legs. My legs are one of my greatest strengths, and I made use of them. I choked her until she passed out.

  That was before, of course, she landed a few in my chest, stomach, back and ear.

  Oh, and I couldn’t hear out of my left ear.

  I rose slowly from the bench, ready to call this a night when Ramone was approached by someone I assumed ran things down here; “here” was affectionately known as “The Hollow.”. Illegal fighting and gambling took place in the Hollow, underneath a strip club on Northwest Highway in Dallas. Men and some women went down here to see women grapple it out until someone fell.

  Ramone looked at me as the guy talked to him. I watched him closely, hoping I wouldn’t have to fight again. I was tired and sore. I knew I wouldn’t be able to beat anyone in this place right now.

  So far, I was undefeated. What’s driving me to do this stupid shit, you ask? Noelle Foster was my motivation, as well as the sure fire will to survive.

  Ramone came over to me ecstatic.

  “You’re in.” We moved to the exit together as he continued. “We have a fight scheduled for tomorrow night. They’ll email me the place and time. I need you to be ready. This is what we’ve been waiting for.”

  I just nodded and we walked out of the building into fresh air. I tried to walk as fast as I could to my car, but Ramone kept following. When we got to my car, he turned to me.

  “This is almost over, and we’ll have the players that we need,” he vowed.

  I nodded again. “I’m going to go see Noelle and tell her the good news.”

  He leaned in closer to me. “Watch your back. If anyone follows you to where she is, that could put her in more danger than she’s in already.”

  “Yeah, I know. I’m always careful.”

  He grunted. “You sure you don’t want to work for us?”

  “Hell no… and when are you going to find one of your agents to keep this undercover thing going? I can’t do this forever. The deal was to get you in. You’re in. You have the reputation you needed and you have a name for yourself.”

  “Yeah, and it just so happens so do you. You’re so fucking popular in that room it’s sickening. Yes, you’re the one that got us in and you’re the one they want. We promised to replace you and we will. We just need to get in and see what we’re working with. Two or three more fights and that’s it.”

  I shook my head and cursed him, life, my mother for instilling in me to help others, and… did I say life?

  I got in the car after he told me he’d text me tomorrow on the time and place as soon as he got it, and I drove off. I couldn’t wait to soak the stench and memories of today away.

  This whole situation was messed up beyond measure, and I hated to say it, but this time it wasn’t my brother’s fault. It was mine.

  For a long time revenge became my drug of choice, my addiction. It fueled me for a while, but now I felt it suffocating me. Close to six months ago, when I was picking up paper products from a restaurant depo for Ice, I happen to stumble on something that I wasn’t supposed to see. I was scared half out of my mind because of what I saw. I knew if I did anything about it, my life would be in jeopardy. I decided to seek wisdom from someone I trusted, and, instead, I got a dose of cowardice and selfishness that I didn’t expect.

  “For once in your fucking life, Ayana, listen to me,” my so-called badass brother scolded. “Just don’t say or do anything. It’s possible they didn’t see you; then you’re safe. But the moment you open your mouth to the authorities, your life is forfeited.”

  I thought Terrence was full of shit. I mean, seriously people report things all the time anonymously, right? Well, I listened at first, but I continued to think about what I had seen and felt sick as if I had done the crime myself. After seeing the unsolved case of the crime I witnessed on the news a few days later, I felt even worse.

  Then as fate would have it, I saw it happen again, but with another girl. Okay, I’ll admit fate had nothing to do with this. After I saw the girl get murdered, I continued to drive around that area every day looking for the killer. I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done if I saw the man again, but what I didn’t expect was to see him hurt someone else. What would you do if you were in my shoes? You’re at the same place around the same time and you saw the same thing happen again. Questions go through your mind, fear, anxiety, but then what do you do? Well, let me tell you – I didn’t just walk away.

  I watched the girl get beat pretty badly, and then watched, as she was strangled, just like the other girl. When the piece of shit was done with the girl, he left her there to die just as he did before. I waited until he was out of sight and I went to check on her. I thought she might be dead and if she was, I would have just left, but she wasn’t. She was barely holding on, but she was alive. I picked her up, struggling a little, but she weighed nothing at all, and carried her to my car.

  I didn’t know what to do at that point. I thought about dropping her off at the hospital. You know, have it be a good citizen type of story, give them the ‘ol “found her on the side of the road” bit. But I didn’t. Instead, I called my brother, told him what I had done and that I needed a safe place for her to heal.

  After about thirty minutes of him yelling at me, calli
ng me every unpleasant thing he could think of, he told me where to take her.

  Easy peasy, right?

  Well, what I didn’t know, and found out the hard way, was the girl that I saved happened to “belong to” a very dangerous family in the city. The doctor ratted my brother out after he figured out who the girl was. Apparently, she had some bar code on her neck that represented property of this family, the Santos Family. I knew what this family was capable of, and I knew I couldn’t do this on my own.

  The Santos family was from Central America. They weren’t as big as other mob families, but they had some connections. What I found out about them that turned my stomach and sent me on this crusade was the fact that they dealt with women trafficking, mainly young innocent girls. This family would take these girls, sometimes from their homes, but mainly from the streets, string them out, sell them, pimp them and use them for whatever sport they wanted.

  The part of the family business I stumbled on was underground fighting. It was a ring of different men in the underground world participating in this fiasco. They would pit half-naked women against each other fighting until someone passes out, tapped out or died. The ones that tapped out or refused to fight were beaten senseless and killed.

  That’s what happened to that other girl I witnessed being strangled and what happened to Noelle. Noelle didn’t want to fight, but she was placed in the ring anyway and she tapped out. They had no patience for quitters and women that lost them money, so their punishment was death; however, I saved Noelle from death.

  When I told my brother all about the family, he freaked out. Apparently, so did his crew. They forced him into hiding in order to keep him safe. There were a few attempts on his life, drive bys and gang related shootings, which Terrence knew Santos orchestrated. The doctor only knew his street name and no one in my brother’s world knew too much about me; those that did were sworn to secrecy, so I was safe for now.

  After my brother bailed on me, I wasn’t sure who I could trust. My first thought went to Lock. I figured he would know what to do, but when I went to him, he went off on me. He told me how his brother was happy, getting married and didn’t need me asking after him. He yelled and screamed so much that I didn’t even get a chance to ask him for help. So I had to think of something else.